Animal Kingdom -2.0 Money Trains

I am back. I have seen a terrible, terrible Australian movie and had to warn the world.

Animal Kingdom is rotten. Let's call it a reimagining of the Pettingill story, which the ABC did so much better in the 1990s with "Janus". Anyway, it's about a seemingly autistic teenager, Josh, who falls in with his criminal relatives after his mother ODs while he's watching TV.

(I saw autistic, but maybe the director was trying for "brooding teenager" and gave the direction "pretend you just had a pick axe get imbedded in your frontal lobe after a farming accident." If so, the young bloke playing Josh did wonderfully.)

But the reason it's on the blog is the terrible logical inconsistency running through the film. (That and the crap acting and the countless slow motion sequences.) To wit:


1. The cops are crooked and are gunning down known criminals, hence the big brother of the crime family, Pope, is in hiding as the cops have enough dirt on him to warrant an execution.

2. The police are watching, and are presumed to have bugged the house of 2nd brother, Baz. Remember that: bugged.

3. Pope and Baz  go to the supermarket, a really low-key place for someone in hiding. The cops are waiting and gun down Baz, leaving Pope to wander off and later attend Baz's funeral with the cops watching. Why don't they arrest him? (In fact, in the previous scene, Baz told his wife he was going to the supermarket, so I guess he was bugged.)

4. In retaliation, Pope and the other brothers reinact the Walsh St killings and are almost immediately arrested.

5. They are then let go, presumably for lack of evidence, despite the cops knowing where they lived, having a good idea who did it, and having the ability to bug a house, which it seems they didn't do.

6. I mean come on. 3rd Brother, Craig, gets gunned down after the house of an associate was bugged and the cops roll in. But the one house where everyone seems to live and openly discusses their nefarious plans, and even kills people, ISN'T bugged.

7. Remember points 1 and 4: Pope, the guy facing a hit squad because of the evidence against him is arrested and then let go. COME ON!

8. While the Special Operations Group police, in full black-ops gear, arrest the entire family, (in the movie's 317th slow motion sequence), the crime matriarch, Jackie Weaver, is left alone to drink a cup of tea unmolested. She's a crime matriarch, the Soggies are going in, why is someone left alone to boil the kettle for herself. COME ON!

9. Let's get this straight: Baz's house is bugged. Craig's weirdo farm-owning associate's house is bugged. Crime central is not.

Yeah so anyway, if you can explain that, I'd love to hear it.  This is truly a film where you will not give two hoots about a single soul in it. Oh god, looking back, it's like Zach Braff tried to direct Wesley Snipes and Keanu Reeves in a period drama after watching too many John Woo movies. God it's bad.

-2.0 Money Trains