Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Borgman -3.0 MT

There are three sorts of people who watch Borgman: those that don't get that Camiel Borgman and his pals are devils and are dumbfounded by the randomness and weirdness of the movie (they don't like it); those that do realise they're devils and are so proud of themselves for their insight that they ascribe all sorts of good qualities to the film (they like it, but like themselves more); and those who realise they're devils but still see the gaping plot holes and narrative inconsistencies and utter ridiculousness of the movie (they don't like it).

First up, just because you "get" something doesn't make it funny. Tarantino's use of French slang in Inglourious Basterds doesn't make it genius just because you're one of the few who picks it up. And his homage to Bruce Lee's unfinished Game of Death is an insult to the great man, not something to gaze at in wonder. Similarly, realising Borgman and co are satan-spawn doesn't make it a funny film. Here's one extract from a review I read: "If you don’t see the humor in a scene in which Borgman and his companions dispose of three bodies in a rural pond – and then go swimming in it – then this movie isn’t for you." Of course, if you do see the humour in that, you're most likely either an Arts undergraduate type who shuts your eyes when you talk because you're just so damned passionate about finding the hidden meanings in absolutely everything, or you are unbalanced mentally and untethered morally. (Which probably explains why your quoted statement was factually incorrect in the first place! I'll link that review here).

So anyway, this film is about a suburban family that takes in a drifter (spoiler alert: he's Satan spawn) and the idyllic family life falls apart for... no real reason. There's no backstory that suggests anyone was upset with their lot in life. I'm not even going to continue. This was a turgid piece of crap that unfortunately sticks in your mind for a little too long, making you hate yourself for wasting your life on it. Like Inglourious Basterds. But not as pretentious.

Overall, I'm scoring this at -3.0 Money Trains. It's in a similar vein to Man Bites Dog, but without the irony. I'll score it on par with Really Bad Things.

I really need to see a *fun* crap film...

No comments: