Deep Blue Sea (2.5 Money Trains)

So I was in Carrefour today and saw Deep Blue Sea going cheap and I have to say: great buy.

This is an old school disaster movie that deserves to stand alongside Towering Inferno, and (the original) Poseidon Adventure. Right from the start you know that most of the players are going to die - nothing too original there - but Deep Blue Sea surprises you in its hit list. But what really puts this in the big league of disaster flicks, for my money, is that not only do things go wrong, but everything goes wrong.

Basic plot summary is that a team of scientists researching a sharks-brain-based cure for Altzheimers accidentally make three supersharks in their off-shore converted WWII submarine pen. "We made their brains bigger and as a side-effect they got smarter." A side-effect? I think the word the good doctor was looking for was "result". Of course, they never expected such a thing to occur. Little wonder then that these scientists are incapable of defending themselves from three fish with the intelligence of, perhaps, dogs. Nor will it come as a surprise that their facility has been engineered with zero tolerances and no redundant systems so that harsh weather and a helicopter are able to precipitate its eventual demise. This is classic disaster. Absolute rolling-on-the-floor-wanting-to-vomit-with-laughter-because-it's-so-damned-stupid classic disaster.

Everything else is pretty standard: dramatic music, nonsensical decisions (I need to get that shark's attention, so I'll cut myself and jump in the water) and, like any action film involving water, the laws of physics (particularly Boyle's Law) do not apply. People can hold their breath indefinitely and swim great distances without blacking out, and they can rapidly ascend to the surface without getting bent (for two classic examples of this, watch the Bond films For Your Eyes Only and Tomorrow Never Dies). Also, sea water is always crystal clear and the characters can see underwater without a mask. My only real complaint is that the CGI was a bit clunky.

This is not a film to get you thinking, but it should be one to get you laughing. Eg: Preacher (LL Cool J): "I'm done. Brothers never make it out of situations like this, not ever!"

2.5 Money Trains